


La vie sans amour

by HelenofTroy



Series: Louis & Claudine 1 [1]
Category: Versailles (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:12:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6914185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenofTroy/pseuds/HelenofTroy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The king Louis XIV analyzes his feelings for each of his lovers, to realize who really loves, and the irony which is involved.<br/>Can France love someone so small as Claudine is, and nevertheless even bigger than himself for her greatness of soul ?<br/>A life without love is what is waiting for him? What is La vie Sans Amour?<br/>Louis and his true feelings what is it? How can a simple doctor sink him, to the the king down from the Sun?<br/>Even in his own dreams...</p>
            </blockquote>





	La vie sans amour

Again the same dream. Again the same nightmare. 

-No, no , Give me your hand, Claudine! -Louis screams, in the distance, while something weird, unknown is retaining his legs from above. It's as if Louis was hanging from a balcony and Claudine below, and the ground would rise to him, to his height, then away again.  
The courtyard of Versailles is crowded. Marie Theres & Athenais are calling him: 

-Louis, Louis come here, take our hands!  
But he does not want listen them, Louis does not trust in them. He just wants to Claudine, her help, but she remains silent among people. She´s not dressed of man this time, but with a with a beautiful yellow and white dress and a bouquet of yellow flowers also.  
Suddenly Claudine is gone. 

-Claudine, Claudine, please! Give me your hand, i only trust in you! Ah...don´t go!-Suddenly Louis awoke and at his side, Bontemps, was looking him worried.  
-Was just a dream, sire-the the paternal voice of his assistant restored her sanity, nodding.  
His skin was bristling with fear, and on his forehead, sweat crowded as grain in a mill, Bontemps spent a cloth white with water on the front of the king.

-No, no , Bontemps, Claudine said that while the nightmares i would need cold water, this too much hot, Bontemps- Louis pulled the heavy bed linens and began to stride around the room.  
When Bontemps brought the cold water, the king washed his face himself in the cold water. 

-What is my life, Bontemps? What i´m doing with my life? -Louis said, while Bontemps lit another candle. 

-You are the king of France, sire, you are our light, our path-said Bontemps, helping the king to enter in his bed again.  
-Yes, but where is the man in me? -Louis closed his eyes, thinking in the next day. Bontemps watched his sleep, like when Louis was just a kid. 

Bontemps never would forget when Louis always fell asleep holding the fat hand of Philippe then, or even hugged him. Louis always was scared from the terrible night. But right now her fears were going beyond his own trusting. And every night he was calling to the doctor in his dreams.  
Of course the king did not want call to Claudine for telling her such things. What she would say? 

Even a king could feel shame, but was not a good idea show to his own doctor that she was the object of his night obsession. 

-Bontemps, tomorrow we must call to Claudine, this can not continue in that way-the king said, thinking this time in Henriette, his true love sometimes he thought , or maybe his first love. 

-Yes, your majesty -said Bontemps. and in middle hour, both men were sleeping again, and this time the nightmare wasn´t far of Louis, he woke up saying the same name "claudine". 

When Louis opened his eyes he saw her there again. Bontemps had called the doctor before let the King get up. 

-What is wrong with him, Monsieur? -asked Claudine, taking the king´s face and looking his eyes, taking every one with her skilled hands. 

Louis as a frightened little bird watched her from nearby, while she was looking for one of her glasses in her purse. When Claudine looked to Louis, he was looking her in silence, with her two blue eyes opened like a mouse, with a weird expression. 

Bontemps realizing the lunatic & transient state of Louis intervened.  
-His Majesty has had many nightmares lately-said while with her glasses Claudine watched the Louis eyes, with careful. In the ending Louis smiled her with a timide gesture, while Claudine nodded. 

-All seems to be in order, Your Majesty. Pupils are well, and also your heart rhythm-said her taking his hand. Louis suddenly took her hand, and while seconds squeezed it hard.

-What i have is...i´m ..i have nightmares that annoys me, doctor-said Louis. 

-About what Your Majesty? -asked Claudine, but the timely Bontemps cough alerted her. 

-Well was just because maybe if the dreams are dark is because an an incipient depression or sadness, whereas if the dream is full of light, but with people, it is because..-Claudine was interrumpted by the King Louis. 

-Is a dream with people, with my ... lovers. I see to my wife, i see to Madame de Montespan, to my son sometimes, my brother, Henriette..-said the King-i see to Henriette and i ask her hand but she never give that to me, while the rest of women do it. But i´m not interested, i´m like hung from the top.

-Oh i see, well some mind´s experts say that writing all that tension is channeled-said Claudine-but ..-she smiled, but hardly was a second.  
-Why , why did you smile? -Louis asked. 

-I was thinking on my father, your majesty-said Claudine.  
-And?  
-He would have said that your Majesty would have some low-spiritedness. But I appeal to the state of consciousness, sir.  
-Then i should to write about it? -Louis said, while Claudine gathered her things, hited by Bontemps.  
-Yes, Sire, and drink less wine while the day, this will help you-Claudine took a new notebook from his bag and gave that to Louis, is just an example. 

-Thanks Claudine-said the king, looking her. Bontemps and Claudine were there, waiting his permission. But Louis did not give them it. 

He was thinking how Claudine would be dressed with a dress like in his dream, in a dress worthy of Madame of Montespan. Had been passed one year since the Henriette´s death, and Claudine now looked different. Her hair was longer, her dark jacket was more cut, her shirt less vast. The king looked the frilly cuffs of her shirt. They even had lace. 

-Bontemps orders that our doctor shirts have tatting in their fists. Talk to François. Now, Bontemps, leave us.  
-Yes, sir-Bontemps left them in a second, looking them with severity. Ah good lord! Bontemps was like his father, but now with him in the bedroom was too much! 

-I dream with women, and i have different feelings with them, Claudine. As king i can understand the the magnitude of the people who appear there, but as a man, I'm not sure who i love. And if i´m not loved? 

-Oh you are your majesty. Versailles was in your dream this time?  
-Ah the ballerina? No, not this time-the king Visibly dejected, he puts his hands on his head.  
-Maybe your majesty sleeps fews hours-said Claudine.  
-What i most like of you, doctor is your loyalty-said Louis, while Claudine just said what she alway said.  
-Thanks sire.  
-I´m like a kind of father for you, isn´t it Claudine? -in his tone there was a note of sadness inexplicable.  
-I never will can pay to Your Majesty all his his kindness shown for me.  
-If would be not for you, Claudine i did not have to my Son, the Deuphin-said the King, talking about the about the flu epidemic the court lived weeks ago. 

Bontemps then was back, the two big Claudine´s eyes were like two lagoons when the king said:  
-Well Claudine you can leave us, your new clothes will be ready soon.  
-Yes sire-she said-Monsieur  
Bontemps nodded to the girl who left the bedroom. 

Bontemps knew the king´s feelings, but who was him for let them know to the King? He was the king, the sun of all their lifes. 

-Bontemps, do you think that she wears dresses in her house?  
-I don´t know sir, i will call the vallet....

Bontemps never had seen the king so agitated. Louis had chosen Claudine as his personal doctor. He trusted in her the most important thing of his life: his person, and his family.  
Bontemps had had his doubts with Claudine in the beginning, but after all the great things that she had done, just the admiration turned on in the Bontemps heart.  
Sometimes when the man find to Claudine in the stairs, He greeted her courteously, even once she asked if she had family. 

-" She is the daughter I should have"-thought very often Bontemps looking the greatness of that extraordinary woman.  
When Madame de Montespan knew that the flu epidemic had broken she went out to Paris, leaving to the king a sad note. Of course the king could have called her anyway, but his fire for her maybe was declining because it did not that. A Daughter as Montespan would have been source of shame for him, for Bontemps. 

Bontemps thought too in Claudine´s father, how he died, how he had hited to her daughter, with the idea of kill her, just because the king preffered his advice instead the old and decadent healing art from the old man. 

And now that question from Louis, what kind of dress Claudine would wear?  
Oh! suddenly a frightening thought crossed Bontemps mind. The king would be watching to Claudine, the woman? Oh no....

The mix of Louis & The women work for Madame de Montespan and Valliere, but not for a woman like Claudine. 

She was a "real human being" as Bontemps called her and to the rest of the king´s old and loyal servants, who really loved and were there for him all his life.  
Claudine would be one of them, her loyalty to Louis and to France had been tested while the flu epidemic. The anothers three doctor had died, less a young man and herself, exposed to the bad cleaning the Deuphin´s fevers and humors personally as royal doctor. 

Claudine was a devoted & loyal Louis dog, a rare jewel of those that never were found in the Solomon´s treasure, a good person, intended to serve for honor and love for her king and her science appeared in a dunghill of courtiers like Madame de Montespan or Valliere, who just were waiting the Louis favour in their selfish desire of grown up in power , in influence. 

If Louis let Claudine alone, she would age next to him and his family, healing them, helping there. But...if the king would see in her the woman, Louis would destroy that perfect diamond, this loyalty clean and free of sin that she had offered to France, to Louis. Bontemps felt fear, but he did not say anything, just looked with sadness to Louis by first time, when the king was already dressed. 

-What if Bontemps? -the blue eyes of Louis pierced Bontemps.  
-La vie sans amour, is terrible, sire-said Bontemps before leave him, by his own order, answering to himself maybe. 

While the twilight, The king in his real desk started the writting about his feelings, as Claudine had said; 

"Madame de Montespan. Ah Athenais, when i saw you by the first time. Was like fly and fall until the bottom of the most greatest passion never known. Don´t let me alone, Athenais, because i need your embrace, your breath next to my own breath, your dark skin, your touch next to the me. With you i scape from my past, from Versailles, that ballerina that Claudine said that is around me the whole time, she calls her My muse, and she dance with me with the Lully´s music, but is not enough, i never can get her, while i have you always to my side, why did you leave me while the epidemic? i need you, Athenais, is your grace, are your words is your body, if you go away i´ll be alone, the nightmares will come back and her presence always forbbiden for me will come back to torment me every night, oh Athenais, save me of this pain, of this desire by her, by Claudine ". 

the words did not born from the Louis pen, but from his soul. Next to him, Bontemps made what Louis ordered "take the letters and put everyone inside of its envelope.  
Bontemps did it very fast, while the king continued writting, this time to Madame de La Vallière. 

"Louise, even your name was like my soulmate name. You and me were two flames soulmates in froint of God´s eyes, as you said once. You were mine, and i was of yours, and our bodies just were the reflection of our fears, our mutual devotion & faith in God. When i talked of you from my dream of Versailles, my dream of build her in the Earth, that little ballerina mine, dancing around me, sent to me by Claudine i know that, you were the only one in understand my pain for not get it, the same that now i have Louise .. i miss your face, your fresh and youth air in this court, i just can trust in Bontemps , in my wife, and in myself thanks to Claudine, the only one who heal me and hurt me as same time, by Claudine, you call me in the dream and i can not go with you, i don´t love you Louise, i just am there for Claudine, by Claudine"... 

Louis left the second letter on top his table, and smiling give it to Bontemps. 

-This is working, Bontemps. i´m free now. i feel the comfort of everyone, i feel that i have all what i want-said Louis with calm-Claudine was right.  
-I´m happy with that, sir-said Bontemps closing the envelope with the "Louis de la Valliere" name. 

"Marie Therese. My Wife, the mother of my children, my only True Queen, my spanish beauty, you are my only relief in this great life. i´m France, they say, i´m the light , but is not true, you are the light that there is in me. if not i´d be all darkness. When you were sick, my queen, and you gave me that child of dark skin, not my daughter, in some way was not true, she was my daughter because all my soul is eaten, consumated by the lust that i feel by anothers women that are not you, Marie Therese, please forgive me. I forgive your sin, because you always have forgiven my own soul, and that was the day in that i meet Claudine, who saved you and my soult with it". 

"Henriette. My Heriette, love of my life, you are not in the heaven, but i know that you can hear this letters, my love. You were the love of my life, my dear sister, my best friend, my acomplice-Louis felt how the tears wet his face but he did not stop of writing, if not this woldn´t work-now my brother is married again, Henriette. But i know that you would approve her . she is not beautiful like you, she´s not a star. you were my morning star when the day was born and my moon when in the night i looked to the heaven, as the Moon was there, you were always for me, and the only fact of leave me, broke my heart, thecapacity to love has gone on me with you , my beautiful sister . You came to me, Henriette, please, because i lied to her, to Claudine, saying that the only woman whom i wanted hold were you. all the fault is of that woman, of Claudine. i trust in her in that way that sometimes i think if she wants heal me or kill me, because she´s killing me in the most slowly and painful way, Henriette, and she was in yor side, when you left. that person who i love with all my soul is Claudine, my doctor". 

When Louis ended this double letter, he looked to Bontemps, in shock. 

-I will live a live without love, Bontemps-said Louis-i´m domed. The king will reach the Sun one day, but the man just will walk for a garden without flowers, loving her in anothers bodies, drinking her wine in anothers glasses? i feel shame of myself, and for her, for make her this. I don´t feel for her lust, i don´t feel for her desire. i just have found her . i always have been searching her since i was young, in every woman. She has lived in everyone, even in Versailles. Now that i have written those lines, talking of four women, she´s in all the texts, Bontemps. She is part of Louis, she was in my ideal, she was who talked to me of Versailles as My muse, and until i met her, i just shared with Louis this dream. Claudine brought back to the life, to my queen, to my son, to myself. She gave me to my brother cured too ready for marry again.  
She´s the main cause of all this. i´ve never touched her, but she , she has given to me everything. Because she does what she thinks that is right. I´m the king, she´s only a doctor who is not dead by my desire. A woman studing medicine, what kind of strange dream is this Bontemps? I´m embarrased when i am with her, i spy her when she does not know that i´m there, in her hospital for the most poorest people. I think that if she leaves me, Her God, My God will get angry, i will cry, i will suffer if i don´t have her in my bed. But if i destroy that innocence, her advice will change? when she´s healing me, is healing France, Bontemps. She and me wel´ll die traitors, Bontemps. i am a traitor to my country, she´s a traitor to her King. Because she heal my body, of every sickness, but she hurts my soul, making me admire her, and search her in every woman, in every glimpse of love. When i see a couple in love, i have to re-wath them twice for learn that she´s not Claudine giving herself to another man. I, the king of France, i´m lost. I will live a live without love? I don´t think so, Bontemps-Louis started to cry, while Bontemps did not say anything. What could say? 

-She will be mine, Bontemps, though i have to reduce her to the asshes-then the king embraced to Bontemps and hating himself cried long and deep. And Bontemps wanted hate him for what was gonna to happen to the only noble person in that Court, to Claudine, but in his selfish feeling of father, he felt sorry by Louis. His loyalty was with his king, not with the doctor.  
But she was innocent, if the king was living that sick passion was not her fault, not even of Louis.  
Because naked, free of all title & blessing of God, he was just a man.

**Author's Note:**

> the English is not my first lenguage. i´m sorry by my grammatical mistakes. Thanks.


End file.
